Joan was in Primary School when WW2 broke out in 1939 – most of her school years were against the backdrop of the WW2 years.
In late 1953, Joan married Cyril Ross Adams who, as a teenager, had served with the 2/16th Battalion in the horrific conflicts on the Northern Beach Heads of PNG in 1942- 1943. These are still all to often overshadowed by Kokoda. Ross then returned to PNG later in 1943, and at Balikpapan in 1945 – suffering the physical and psychological impacts for the rest of his life.
Fifteen years after WW2 ended, in 1960, husband Ross really began to experience PTSD, self medicating with alcohol, and Joan had to be mother and father to their 3 children, against the physical and psychological impacts of alcohol fuelled violence. But rather than being ground down, Joan served her community in a whole range of community groups from the early 1960’s until her own health began to break down in 2005.
Joan also inspired her children with the thoughts of doing the best you can with the abilities you have been given, and the opportunities that come your way. Nevertheless life was hard for Joan and their three kids, like so many kids whose dads suffered from PTSD after WW2 – yet families were expected to keep it “under the carpet” and within “the four walls of their own homes”.
Husband Ross’s PTSD culminated in him leaving the family in 1975, yet after his debilitating stroke in 1977, Joan brought Ross back home, and cared for him for over 14 years until his death in 1990, limiting her own life’s activities during those years. They joined the local stroke support group – which Joan continued to support as an office bearer, for 15 years after the passing of Ross.
And, after the passing of Ross in 1990, Joan’s aunt recruited her into the War Widows Guild of the City of Wollongong. There, Joan quickly became an office bearer for many years, ultimately compiling its 50 year history 1954 – 2004. She also lobbied for the establishment of stroke support facilities at the local Wollongong Hospital.
Life could never have been a normal happy household for the three children of the Adams household from the 1960’s. Back then there was no support for a young wife and mother with a husband afflicted with PTSD – an understanding of that would only come after the Vietnam War years. Yet Joan did her best for her kids, and found time to be a loving Nan to her 4 grandchildren – even taking one of them along to War Widows and Woonona Bulli RSL Laurel Club meetings.
Now, as a former Local Council Alderman, I honour Mum, Joan Adams nee Callcott, when I do presentations on “What did you do in the War (WW2) and Afterwards Mummy?”
Lest We Forget.