Sharing our latest wellbeing tips for war widows, defence and veteran families
Looking after your wellbeing remains essential for war widows, defence and veteran families, especially during times when connection can feel harder to reach. This month, we’re exploring what it means to reconnect with yourself and others, with compassion and care. Below, you’ll find 2 practical wellbeing tips from our latest Wellbeing Newsletter, offering reassurance and simple ways to support connection and self‑respect during February.
When connection feels hard
The start of a new year often brings mixed emotions. While there is talk of fresh starts and new routines, this time can also feel overwhelming, especially for families of veterans. After busy holiday periods or long stretches of change, feelings of disconnection can become more noticeable.
Disconnection does not always look dramatic. It may show up as pulling away from others, cancelling plans, or feeling slightly out of step with the world around you. Sometimes it is emotional, such as feeling flat, tired, or unseen. Other times it is social, where attending gatherings or reaching out simply feels harder than it once did.
These experiences are common and understandable, they are not a sign of failure, and they do not mean connection is gone for good. Emotional disconnection is often felt internally, even when others are nearby. Social disconnection can be more visible, as routines shrink or familiar activities fall away. Both can exist at the same time, and both deserve patience and compassion.
Navigating expectations
At the beginning of a new year, when expectations can feel high and routines are unsettled, these feelings may feel stronger. There can be pressure to be social, to feel motivated, or to start fresh, even when your energy or circumstances have not caught up yet. This is a natural and understandable response to change.
Reconnecting does not need to be big or daunting. Often, it starts small. It could be a quiet coffee with someone you feel comfortable with, attending a social group or class that sparks your interest, or simply showing up for something familiar. Connection can also grow through shared activities such as gentle movement, walking, yoga, pilates, sound bath or a day at the beach.
If reaching out feels difficult right now, you’re not alone. Gentle steps, taken in your own time, can help restore a sense of belonging and show that connection can be meaningful in many different ways.
Exploring self-care through mindfulness with Brene Brown
We often think that putting ourselves first is selfish. Brené Brown’s research tells a very different story. According to Brown, this work isn’t about choosing ourselves instead of others, it’s about choosing self‑respect alongside connection. When we don’t, resentment, burnout, and disconnection quietly take root.
One of her most well‑known reminders is this: “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” Mindfully putting yourself first begins with awareness. It’s noticing when you’re saying yes out of fear rather than alignment. It’s listening to your bodies and reactions that tell you a boundary is needed long before words arrive. Brene Brown reframes boundaries as an act of kindness. Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind. When we’re honest about our limits, people know where they stand and we stay connected without abandoning ourselves.
This practice also asks us to loosen our grip on perfectionism. Brown describes perfectionism not as healthy striving, but as self‑protection or a shield against shame. Choosing yourself sometimes means allowing yourself to rest, decline, or do less, without earning it first.
A simple reflection can help:
- What am I feeling right now
- Am I acting from love or fear?
- What boundary would honour my self‑respect in this moment?
Putting yourself first will likely bring discomfort. Guilt may show up. So might the fear of disappointing someone else. But Brene Brown reminds us that discomfort is not failure; it’s often the price of vulnerability. When we choose self‑respect, we don’t lose connection. We build braver, healthier relationships with ourselves and others.
Subscribe to our Wellbeing Newsletter for monthly updates on all activities available in your area, what’s been happening in our Wellbeing Program and also for more tips like this.
