I would like to share the story of my grandmother, a war widow.
It’s funny how life pans out sometimes…
Apple founder Steve Jobs said it perfectly, at his Commencement address to the new Stanford University class of 2005.
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward,” he said. “So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.”
For me, finding myself here at the Guild has given me a totally new perspective and certainly echoes Jobs’ sentiments.
My grandmother Lillian Freeman would be 110 if she were still alive today. The wife of World War II veteran Lionel Freeman, she became a member of the War Widows Guild in July 1969, not long after Lionel’s death.
Lionel struggled following his war service, in what today would be categorised as post-traumatic stress. He served in Timor as a gunner with the 2/1 Heavy Battery, Royal Australian Artillery, until the island was overrun by the Japanese.
Avoiding capture – many of his unit endured years of hardship on the Burma-Thai Railway, including his future brother-in-law, the sibling of Lillian – he joined the 2/2 Independent Company and fought behind the lines during the campaign with this infamous commando unit.
Lionel married Lillian – who he met while she searched for information on her captured brother, Gordon Kinred, who served in the 2/1 Fortresses Signals, a sister unit of the 2/1 Heavy Battery.
Together they had four children, and they all started life together living at Hargrave Park, an old army barracks turned rough and tumble housing for veterans as they awaited housing commission accommodation.
Several years later the family secured a new housing commission house in Yagoona, which is where my mother, Maureen, along with her siblings Rex, Patricia and Riki all grew up. This was the family home and where my grandmother resided for the remainder of her life.
I remember my grandmother – who was universally called Bar by all – and mother talking about the War Widows, but it was something I didn’t take too much notice of at the time. My memories are of someone picking up Bar to take her to the ANZAC Day march in town and the gatherings she would go to with other widows. I wish I took more interest in hindsight, but that’s just part of my dot-joining journey…
Bar was the glue that held her immediate, and extended as it grew bigger, family together. She was the matriarch. Firm when she needed to be firm, stoic, and I can’t remember her ever speaking ill of anyone. I think we could all be more like Bar. She was a product of her era when resilience was not really a word people used. You just were, because you had to be.
The much-loved Lionel certainly had his challenges post-service and never really recovered from the impact of the trauma he experienced in Timor – which was not physical, but psychological. The family always chipped in when he needed support, offering a shoulder to lean on, underpinned by the ever-present and venerable Bar.
I see a lot of Bar in the many World War II widows the Guild continues to support today. It gives me comfort to see how our group offers a steady hand of support when needed.
The nature of conflict unfortunately means we have new generations of widows joining our group, with many Vietnam War veterans’ wives part of our cohort, as well as those widows from more recent conflicts, including Afghanistan.
Our relevance today is as significant as it always has been. It gives me great privilege to be part of this organisation and see first-hand the impact we can make for those that require support.
I never thought my career would take me to this juncture. As a granddaughter of a war widow who benefited so much from the ‘Guild’ as Bar used to call it, I now have my opportunity to play my small part in continuing the work of protecting the interests of women and families united by defence service.
This gives me immense satisfaction and I look forward to connecting with more of our members over the years ahead.
Cherie Perceval, Executive Officer, Families of Veterans Guild.