Sharing our latest wellbeing tips for war widows, defence and veteran families
Connection is vital when it comes to shaping our wellbeing. It can grow through shared interests, familiar faces at a weekly activity, or a moment of curiosity about what we’re truly feeling. For war widows, defence and veteran families, where life often involves change, movement and the demands of service, finding both community and self-understanding can be especially meaningful. This month’s tips, drawn from our latest Wellbeing Newsletter, explore how connection can be found in your community, and how curiosity, guided by Brené Brown’s Atlas of the Heart, can open the door to greater self-compassion.
Finding connection in your community
Connection can be found in many places. Whether it is through a hobby you enjoy such as running, yoga, cooking, art, meditation or photography, shared interests can provide a way to meet others and build meaningful connections. Joining a local club, class or community group can help create opportunities for conversation, friendship and support.
For veteran families, social connection can be especially important. Defence life often involves frequent changes, which can make it harder to maintain social connections. Connecting with others who understand the unique defence experience can provide a sense of understanding and support. Community connections can help families feel less isolated during times of transition and change.
Small moments, meaningful impact
Connection does not always have to mean building close friendships. Sometimes it is simply having people to share an activity with, seeing familiar faces each week, or enjoying a conversation over a coffee. These small moments can make a big difference to wellbeing and help strengthen our sense of community. Getting involved can start with one small step, such as attending a local event, joining a group that interests you, volunteering, or trying a new activity. Many people feel nervous when trying something new, but connections often grow gradually through regular participation and shared experiences.
You can join us at one of our upcoming online or in person wellbeing activities and connect with other veteran families. Our activities provide opportunities to share experiences, meet people who understand the unique aspects of military and veteran life, and build connections in a welcoming and supportive environment.
The power of curiosity
It is common for us to quickly judge and criticise our thoughts and feelings. But what if we look at them through a different lens and become curious instead?
In her book, ‘Atlas of the Heart’, Brene Brown says that curiosity is an important part of our need for making meaning. Curiosity is the recognition of gaps in our knowledge and can lead to exploration and learning.
Curiosity invites us to ask ourselves:
- How am I feeling?
- What is contributing to these feelings?
- What do I need right now?
- Are there different ways of viewing this situation?
Turning towards curiosity, not criticism
Curiosity encourages us to step back from the situation and observe through another lens. Curiosity is about creating space to consider alternative perspectives and respond with self-compassion, rather than criticism. Curiosity urges us to recognise that our thoughts may be interpretations, rather than concrete facts, and our thoughts can fill in the gaps, make assumptions and predict future outcomes. However, curiosity for many of us means being vulnerable, as it requires us to venture into uncertainty. This exploration can lead to feelings of discomfort or hurt and lead us to turning towards self-protection. Curiosity is a mindfulness practice that requires consistent practice, little by little, so it is okay if this is hard at first.
Brene Brown reminds us that language matters and that the more accurately we name emotions, the better we can respond. For example, using the word “overwhelmed” to describe our feelings, may lead to a different response than using the word “stressed”. Through accurately naming emotions, we can identify what support and action is required.
A simple practice we can use to curiously explore our challenging emotions is asking ourselves, “Is it true?”. When worrying or negative thoughts arise, we can pause and ask ourselves:
- “Is this thought completely true?”
- “What evidence do I have for and against these thoughts?”
- “What would I say to a friend if they were in this situation?”
- “What else could be true?”
- “Maybe, I don’t have enough information yet.”
- “Am I certain, or just assuming?”
By approaching with curiosity and asking exploratory questions, we can slow down, challenge assumptions, and respond with greater self-compassion, which we all deserve. “Curiosity is an act of vulnerability and courage. We need to be brave enough to want to know more.” — Brené Brown
To find out the latest wellbeing tips or find a free wellbeing activity, please subscribe to our Wellbeing Newsletter.
You can also find all of our wellbeing tips, practical information sheets and guides to support you and your family’s wellbeing, visit our Resource Hub today.
