War Widows Social Clubs have always been a place where friendships are forever remembered, even decades later. From the beginning, our social clubs have existed to make sure no war widow faces life alone. Formed in the tradition set by our founder Jessie Vasey CBE OBE who “welded” widows together so they had voice, companionship and practical support, the clubs offer belonging built on a shared loss that only those who’ve lived it can truly understand.
Many war widows have found in their social club a safe space that has always been there for them, and an unspoken understanding of why a simple gathering matters: it steadies grief, restores confidence and keeps women connected to one another and to our shared mission.
A club held together for 57 years
For more than 57 years at the Muswellbrook War Widows Social Club, this spirit has been preserved and lived. The perfect example of why social clubs are the strength of our community, and why it is important for war widows to stay connected to each other, no matter the size of the gatherings. Today, although only five members remain at Muswellbrook, the bonds formed with those who have passed continue to be remembered and cherished at every meetings. “We look after one another,” Coordinator Sheena explains. “When one’s ill or needs help, we call around. We keep an eye on each other.”
The monthly gatherings are all about ‘companionship’ as Sheena puts it, whether it be talking about their families, their children and grandchildren, or sharing the everyday moments of life. As families grow and generations become busier, those family connections can sometimes fade, which is why groups like these are held so dear; it gives these ladies steady and regular times to connect to one another – friendships that, as Sheena describes it, have grown “close-knit,” built on years together.
Stepping up to keep the doors open
Keeping a club like this going, month after month, takes someone willing to hold the door open. For Sheena and many coordinators of our war widows social clubs, stepping into the role was never part of their long-term plan. “I’ve never done anything like this in my life,” she admits. But when the previous coordinator needed to resign, she knew someone had to take over. Sheena couldn’t bear the thought of the club closing its doors after decades of history. For Sheena, the club is worth running for as long as the bond between these women stays alive. “As long as we can keep this closeness,” she said.
Seeing how much enjoyment the ladies continue to get from their time together is what drove her to take over as coordinator and to keep organising gatherings. Sheena expressed how her coordination is about honouring everyone who fought to keep the club going over the years, and ensuring there is still a place in Muswellbrook where these women can come together. Sheena’s sentiments are shared by coordinators in other war widows social clubs, with many having expressed that despite never planning to take on such a role, they simply couldn’t imagine letting go of a place that means and has meant so much to so many.
Remembering Joyce and Betty
That devotion to one another is felt most deeply when the club loses one of its own. In November 2025 at the club’s annual Christmas gathering, the group chose to honour two beloved members who passed away during the year: Joyce and Betty. Both women were part of the fabric of the club in their own ways, and their presence is still deeply felt by those who knew them for many years. So close are these bonds that even when members pass, they are still spoken of as a dear friend and still considered part of the club they contributed to.
To honour Joyce and Betty’s memories at the gathering, the ladies of the club placed two special items on the Christmas decorated table.
For Joyce there was the pillowcase that she had used every year to hold the gifts for the club’s Christmas gift exchange. Known as the life of the party, Joyce is remembered fondly through small moments – like the time, as Sheena recalls with laughter, the ladies were served the tiniest portion of custard with their dessert, and Joyce’s spirited protest won the table an entire two‑litre jug from a nervous waiter. The ladies laughed about it for days after. It’s stories like this that keep her memory alive within the group. Before she passed away, she made one request to the Coordinator, “please use the pillowcase.” And so they did, placing it on the table as a reminder of her spirit and the laughter she brought.
Beside the pillowcase sat a poinsettia flower, placed in memory of Betty, who lived well into her 90’s and was long-standing member of the Musswellbrook War Widows Social Club. At the previous year’s Christmas party, Betty gave that very poinsettia to Sheena as a thank you for organising the day. Betty is remembered as an appreciative, grateful woman whose actions spoke for her. The flower returned to the table once more, becoming a symbol of Betty’s gratitude for others, and the way she acknowledged Sheena’s hard work as their Coordinator. Different in nature but equal in impact, Joyce and Betty are proof that every personality, talkers or listeners, expressive or reserved, are all needed, welcomed, and deeply valued at our war widows social clubs.
The lunch itself was one to remember, the afternoon slipping away as they chatted and “carried on for hours,” enjoying each other’s company, as they always do at their monthly gatherings. It was a pleasant mix of remembrance and ending the year of 2025 with each other.
When we spoke about the day with Sheena, she confessed that losing members after so many years of knowing them would never be easy. “It’s hard to lose them after having known them for 23 years,” she shared. This is a feeling echoed by many war widows across social clubs, who understand each other’s grief, and the comfort found in remaining connected through their close-knit groups.
No one is ever left behind
Despite their small numbers now, the Muswellbrook War Widows Social Club remains a lovely and friendly group where everyone helps one another, works things out together, and finds joy in being with each other every month. Gathering has never been about how many chairs are filled, it is about the women who fill them, and who keep showing up for one another each month, year after year. Unlike workplaces or familial obligations, social clubs are spaces you choose. Spaces war widows choose to return to, to sit with the friends often described as life-changing ones. And while many admit they were unsure or hesitant when they first walked through the door, none speak of regret. So, the Muswellbrook Social Club carries on, as it always has; and each year, when the pillowcase and poinsettia are placed on the Christmas table, Joyce and Betty are there too. Because no matter how few remain, no one is ever truly left behind.
