When the Guild celebrated Christmas in July at Kirribilli RSL in 2023, Elizabeth Wright was 102 at the time and was handed the microphone to say a few words as the coordinator of the Chatswood social club. Just prior to the event, we sat down with Elizabeth at her home to learn more about how she became involved in the Guild and to hear her life stories.
It was after the passing of her beloved husband, Reg, in 2005 that Elizabeth joined the Guild. Even though it is now almost 20 years since Reg passed away, Elizabeth is overcome with emotion when she speaks of him.
Elizabeths life and experiences with a veteran
“He was a wonderful man,” says Elizabeth, adding how everyone loved him. “He did not talk about anyone. He didn’t criticise people. He’d seen a different life, and he was really lovely.” She shares the story of how Reg once helped a young girl from across the street with her schoolwork so she could complete the leaving school certificate. Elizabeth says the young girl’s mother worked odd hours and she didn’t have a father, so Reg stepped in to help her.
Elizabeth says Reg would sit on those tiny little stools at the school, after working a long day, to help this teenage girl with her studies – Shakespeare, maths, and so on. The study paid off and the young girl successfully completed her leaving certificate. “He was such a nice man,” Elizabeth tells us once more.
When Elizabeth says Reg had seen a different life, she is referring to his war service. Reg served in the Royal Australian Air Force, and served in Europe in the Royal Air Force as a Spitfire pilot throughout the Second World War. “Imagine his nerves for five-and-a-half years. He could have been shot down any minute, any mission, and he would have been watching others not come back,” Elizabeth says to us. “He went away at 19 [years old] a young boy, and came back a grey-haired man.”
Elizabeth tells us she cared for Reg for the final 20 years of his life, but then concedes, in truth, she cared for him for much longer than that – really for their entire marriage. After the chaos and catastrophe of war, Reg revelled in peace and quiet. Elizabeth explains how “everything had to be very smooth. He liked the children to be in bed before he came home. He just loved quietness.”
He studied a lot after the war and Elizabeth tells us how he used to go under the house to study alone in peace , even when the ground was saturated with rain. Elizabeth also recalls how in his younger years, after the war, he would “scream and scream” in his sleep. But later on, as the years continued to pass, he stopped doing so.
When asked why Reg would scream in his sleep, Elizabeth said, “Probably the hate. He hated killing those children and women. You know, they had to [do it] because they were enemies.” She added Reg said to her once how dreadful it was.
Not that Elizabeth pretends to know much about Reg’s war experiences. She tells us several times that Reg didn’t speak much of the war. “Some men will tell you the whole thing. But he would never, ever say anything.”
He also lived the rest of his life with what we recognise today as anxiety. Elizabeth explains how she never worked again after getting married. She says she would have loved to return to nursing, but Reg worried too much about her if she wasn’t home, and if she had to go somewhere, he would worry constantly.
He had lost so much in the war that he couldn’t contemplate the thought of anything happening to her. He also hated planes and flying. While he never piloted a plane again after returning from war, he put his fears of flying to the side so they could travel around the world together. “He just had to deal with it,” Elizabeth says. “He didn’t trust anyone else being a pilot.”
Having loved, supported and cared for a war veteran almost her entire adult life, Elizabeth thinks of the younger war widows and partners of war veterans. She speaks of the women, men and families impacted by the modern conflicts of Iraq and Afghanistan, and wonders how they are coping with the aftermath of war. “I don’t think they’re doing enough for the returned servicemen,” Elizabeth says to us with great compassion.
She also says she did not speak to anyone about how Reg struggled after the war. She supported him silently and stoically. He was a beautiful man, her darling husband: “Everybody loved him, he was an extraordinary man” she tells us.
She is very proud of the family she built with Reg, and of their three daughters. “The girls said the other day they were so lucky to have such a wonderful father,” she recalls. “We talk about him all the time. We were a very happy family, and we still are.”
As she speaks, it’s clear she is a woman of immense understanding, empathy and compassion. War is brutal and its impacts everlasting.
But she’s grateful for the friendships she’s made with other war widows, who share similar experiences and have walked a similar path.
Helping her community of war widows in her 90’s
She says she became the coordinator for the Chatswood social club when no one put their hand up to help. Elizabeth, at the age of 93, stood up and said she could help out. “I said, well, look, I can sell some raffle tickets and that sort of thing. But I don’t want to be on the committee. I just want to be a helper.” Over 10 years later, at 103 years old, Elizabeth remained as Chatswood’s social club coordinator. Elizabeth has since stepped down from the role but still attends the monthly meetings.
Which brings us back to the Guild’s 2023 Christmas in July luncheon at Kirribilli RSL. When Elizabeth was handed the microphone, she thanked members of the social club for sharing their grant funds with other war widows and the RSL for providing the grant to allow them to get together. She spoke about her time as a coordinator, sharing a few anecdotes and stories.
The Guild is built on the shoulders and with the efforts of members like Elizabeth, women who have cared for their war veterans and then cared for each other after the passing of their husbands. It is on this foundation of friendship – supported by understanding, compassion and empathy – that the Guild forges into the future.
