Sharing our latest wellbeing tips for war widows, defence and veteran families
Meaningful friendships are at the heart of wellbeing, yet building and maintaining them can sometimes be challenging. For war widows, defence and veteran families, the demands of service, frequent moves, and periods of separation can make connection feel especially difficult to sustain.
Taking small, intentional steps toward others, and toward our own emotions, can help us build the kind of relationships that truly support us. Find this month’s wellbeing tips from our latest Wellbeing Newsletter, exploring everyday habits that nurture friendship and using Brené Brown’s Head, Heart, Hands framework to navigate complex emotions like grief.
Building meaningful connections in the veteran family community
Building friendships can feel challenging at any stage of life. Making new friends is not always easy, and for many people it can feel increasingly challenging over time. Routines change, social circles shift, and opportunities to meet others might seem limited. For veteran families, these challenges may be amplified by the demands of service, frequent relocations, and periods of separation, all of which can interrupt friendships and support networks.
Forming meaningful connections takes time and patience. Strong friendships are often grounded in shared values and experiences, and grow through trust, mutual respect, and authenticity. Connection does not need to happen instantly. It can be built gradually through small, consistent moments of care and understanding.
Everyday habits that build friendship
There are many simple, everyday ways to nurture new connections, which include:
- Actively listening to allow others to feel heard and valued.
- Offering or accepting support to strengthen trust and deepens relationships.
- Showing gratitude
- Sharing laughter
- Exchanging personal stories to help create warmth and familiarity.
- Finding common ground. Whether it’s a shared interest, experience, or sense of purpose, the brief interaction can turn into a lasting connection.
Within the veteran community, friendship holds particular importance. Veteran families often carry extra responsibility in supporting their loved ones whom serve. Too often, this support happens quietly and in isolation. Veteran families supporting veteran families creates a unique sense of understanding that can’t always be found elsewhere. Shared experiences can ease the feeling of having to explain or justify one’s reality, allowing friendship to form more naturally and authentically.
Exploring emotions with Brene Brown
Experiences such as grief and chronic stress can easily overwhelm the mind and body, particularly within veteran families who may be carrying layers of loss, uncertainty, and responsibility. The Head, Heart, Hands framework aligns with Brené Brown’s research on emotions encouraging us to notice our thoughts (Head), name our emotions (Heart), and choose small acts of care (Hands), to reduce shame, build understanding, and invite courage into our lives. There are many ways that this tool can be used in your life such as prompts for journaling, an artwork or a discussion starter to explore your emotions and the mind-body connection in grief.
Head: Noticing the story you’re telling yourself
Brené reminds us that humans are “story‑making creatures.” When answers are unclear, for example when grieving, our minds naturally fill the gaps. These stories aren’t failures, they are attempts to cope. Using
Brené’s phrase, “The story I’m telling myself is…”, can help us to gently notice looping thoughts, assumptions, or unanswered ‘why’ questions. Observing our stories without judgement creates space for clarity, compassion, and self‑kindness.
Heart: Naming what you’re feeling
Complex emotions such as grief are rarely just one emotion. For example, grief often includes love, sadness, anger, guilt, relief, and hope. Sometimes separately and sometimes all at once. Brené’s research shows that the more precisely we can name our emotions, the better we can navigate them. Naming feelings doesn’t intensify them. In fact, it helps contain them. When emotions are acknowledged and witnessed, they can soften.
Hands: Small acts of courage and compassion
Brené defines courage simply as showing up, even when the outcome is uncertain. It can be a small, compassionate action such as resting, setting a boundary, lighting a candle, or reaching out for support. Your emotions and experiences deserve patience, respect, and care. You don’t have to carry them perfectly, and you don’t have to carry them alone. Sometimes, the bravest thing we can do is simply allow ourselves to notice, name, and honour what is coming up for us in the moment and not feel we have to react to it.
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You can also find all of our wellbeing tips, practical information sheets and guides to support you and your family’s wellbeing, visit our Resource Hub today.
