Sharing our latest wellbeing tips for war widows, defence and veteran families

So much of our wellbeing comes down to two things: knowing what’s going on inside us, and giving ourselves room to slow down. Neither comes easily when life is busy, when service has shaped your family’s routines, or when you are carrying grief.

This month’s tips, drawn from our latest Wellbeing Newsletter, look at both. We share how to build a feelings map using Brené Brown’s Atlas of the Heart, a way to put words to what you are experiencing, and a few relaxing meditation and breathing practices to help you find calm.

Benefits of creating a feelings map 

In families, especially during stressful or difficult times, connection can break down. Not because people don’t care, but because they don’t know how to say what they’re feeling. Brené Brown’s Atlas of the Heart offers a simple idea: building a bigger emotional vocabulary can help people understand each other better and strengthen their relationships.

One practical way to apply this is by creating a feelings map. A feelings map is a visual or conversational tool that helps individuals identify, name, and share their emotional experiences. Rather than relying on broad terms like fine, angry, or stressed, a feeling map encourages people to pinpoint more specific emotions such as overwhelm, disappointment, uncertainty, or loneliness. A feeling map helps:

• Reduce miscommunication
• Increase empathy between family members
• Validate emotional experiences
• Shift from blame to understanding

For families of veterans or those experiencing stress, this can be especially powerful. It gently encourages peoples to open up, while respecting each person’s pace and story.

How to create a feelings map using Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown

1. Start with what happened – Keep it brief and blame-free. Example: “We didn’t talk much tonight.”

2. Name your feelings – Go beyond angry or fine by choosing a few words that best fit. Example: “I felt lonely and hurt.”

3. Share what you need – Identify what matters underneath the feeling. Example: “I need connection and to feel noticed.”

4. Share and listen – Take turns sharing using this simple sentence: “When ___ happened, I felt ___, and I need ___.”  The key is to listen without interrupting or fixing.  Acknowledge what you hear.  

A feelings map isn’t about analysing emotions perfectly. It’s about making the invisible visible. When people can name what’s really going on inside them, connection becomes safer, clearer, and more possible.

Self-care through meditation

As the days become shorter and colder, many people notice changes in their energy, motivation, mood, or sleep. Sometimes referred to as the “winter blues” or seasonal low mood. These feelings can be a natural response to reduced daylight, stress, busy schedules, or spending more time indoors. During these times, simple self-care practices can help create moments of calm throughout the day.

Meditation is one of many ways to support both the mind and body. It does not require special skills or long silence. Meditation can look like taking a few moments to pause, breathe, and reconnect with the present moment.

You might try:

• Sitting quietly with a cup of tea and focusing on your breathing
• Taking a mindful walk and noticing the sounds around you
• Listening to calming music or a guided meditation
• Spending moments outdoors in fresh air and sunlight

Simple breathing exercises can help signal safety and calm the nervous system. One simple exercise is ‘box breathing’:

• Breathe in slowly for four counts
• Hold for four counts
• Breathe out slowly for four counts
• Hold for four counts
• Repeat a few times at your own pace

The goal is not to empty the mind or stop thoughts. Meditation is about being present, noticing your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings without judgement, and gently returning your attention to the present moment. There is no one way to meditate or practice mindfulness. What matters most is finding small practices that feel supportive, calming, and realistic for you.

To find out the latest wellbeing tips or find a free wellbeing activity, please subscribe to our Wellbeing Newsletter. 

You can also find all of our wellbeing tips, practical information sheets and guides to support you and your family’s wellbeing, visit our Resource Hub today.