Sharing our latest wellbeing tips for war widows, defence and veteran families

There are benefits in slowing down long enough to notice what we’re actually feeling. For war widows, defence and veteran families, life can move at a pace that leaves little room for reflection, and the weight of grief, service, or change can make emotions harder to name. But this doesn’t mean we can’t find our way back to ourselves.

This month’s tips, drawn from our latest Wellbeing Newsletter, invite you to explore awe and wonder through Brené Brown’s Atlas of the Heart, and to practice RAIN meditation as a way of meeting yourself with compassion.

Finding awe and wonder in everyday life

In Atlas of the Heart, Brené Brown describes awe as the feeling of encountering something vast that expands our perspective, while wonder invites gentle curiosity and noticing. These emotions are essential to the human experience and lead to moments of learning, connection, and meaning-making. When life gets tough, awe and wonder serve as a powerful reminder that glimmers of beauty and life can still be found even in the darkest of spaces and times.

Researchers have found that awe and wonder encourage us to value what often goes unnoticed in everyday routines such as the warmth of the sun on our back on a cold winter’s day, the stillness and resilience of nature with each passing season, the vibrations of music in our bodies, the way our senses can recall distant memories when stimulated, and the kindness of a stranger who smiles a simple hello. Simple practices such as short pauses, mindful walks, creative expression, or reflective conversations can help gently open space for these feelings without pressure or expectation. These quiet glimmers when noticed, can support growth, change, and overall wellbeing.

How awe sits alongside grief

Awe and wonder do not take away from pain or struggle. Rather they sit alongside and offer a moment of grounding and redirection where the body can soften and the mind open to new perspectives. This approach supports healing in a quiet, compassionate way allowing space for pause to reground and zoom out to allow the bigger picture to appear. If you are interested in exploring these ideas further, please register and come along to our next online writing through grief activity. To explore this topic further, view this article.

Self-care through meditation

We may all experience feelings of stress, anger, overwhelm and anxiety. We can also experience negative thoughts about ourselves, our feelings or our experiences. But it is important to remember, no matter what or how we are feeling, we all deserve our own compassion and care. RAIN meditation is a mindfulness exercise, that you can use in difficult or stressful times. The acronym RAIN, stands for Recognise, Allow, Investigate and Nurture.

RAIN meditation can help you focus on the present moment and cope with uncomfortable thoughts and emotions. This exercise supports us to find self-compassion and learn how to be kind to ourselves. It can help when we encounter challenging experiences and assist us to use a mindful and non-judgmental approach.

Working through the four steps

To begin this exercise, you may lay down or sit in a comfortable position, in a quiet environment. Close your eyes and take slow, deep breaths. Next, follow the steps below:

• Recognise: Recognise your feelings, thoughts and physical sensations in the present moment. Identify and name your feelings silently or out loud to yourself.

• Allow: Allow your thoughts, feelings and sensations to exist, come and go. Let go of any judgement you may be holding towards them. It is okay to feel however you feel in that moment, and you can tell yourself, “This is how I feel right now and that is okay”.

• Investigate: Investigate where these thoughts and feelings are coming from, and what are they trying to communicate. Investigate your vulnerable thoughts and reflect on what they need, such as forgiveness, acceptance, belonging and love.

• Nurture: Be kind towards yourself, your thoughts and your experiences. Give yourself comforting messages such as, “You are okay” or “I am worthy”. Think of friends, family members, pets or spiritual figures and imagine their love flowing towards you. Allow yourself to let in healing and compassion until you feel calmed and grounded.

To finish this exercise, take three more deep breaths and continue to be kind and mindful to yourself through the day.  It is okay if you find this exercise hard, confronting or uncomfortable at first. If this exercise brings up feelings too big or overwhelming, it is okay to pause. It can sometimes be hard to engage in self-care, however, by regularly doing this exercise, even for short amounts of time, it may facilitate healing, self-love and compassion.  

To find out the latest wellbeing tips or find a free wellbeing activity, please subscribe to our Wellbeing Newsletter. 

You can also find all of our wellbeing tips, practical information sheets and guides to support you and your family’s wellbeing, visit our Resource Hub today.

Sharing our latest wellbeing tips for war widows, defence and veteran families

So much of our wellbeing comes down to two things: knowing what’s going on inside us, and giving ourselves room to slow down. Neither comes easily when life is busy, when service has shaped your family’s routines, or when you are carrying grief.

This month’s tips, drawn from our latest Wellbeing Newsletter, look at both. We share how to build a feelings map using Brené Brown’s Atlas of the Heart, a way to put words to what you are experiencing, and a few relaxing meditation and breathing practices to help you find calm.

Benefits of creating a feelings map 

In families, especially during stressful or difficult times, connection can break down. Not because people don’t care, but because they don’t know how to say what they’re feeling. Brené Brown’s Atlas of the Heart offers a simple idea: building a bigger emotional vocabulary can help people understand each other better and strengthen their relationships.

One practical way to apply this is by creating a feelings map. A feelings map is a visual or conversational tool that helps individuals identify, name, and share their emotional experiences. Rather than relying on broad terms like fine, angry, or stressed, a feeling map encourages people to pinpoint more specific emotions such as overwhelm, disappointment, uncertainty, or loneliness. A feeling map helps:

• Reduce miscommunication
• Increase empathy between family members
• Validate emotional experiences
• Shift from blame to understanding

For families of veterans or those experiencing stress, this can be especially powerful. It gently encourages peoples to open up, while respecting each person’s pace and story.

How to create a feelings map using Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown

1. Start with what happened – Keep it brief and blame-free. Example: “We didn’t talk much tonight.”

2. Name your feelings – Go beyond angry or fine by choosing a few words that best fit. Example: “I felt lonely and hurt.”

3. Share what you need – Identify what matters underneath the feeling. Example: “I need connection and to feel noticed.”

4. Share and listen – Take turns sharing using this simple sentence: “When ___ happened, I felt ___, and I need ___.”  The key is to listen without interrupting or fixing.  Acknowledge what you hear.  

A feelings map isn’t about analysing emotions perfectly. It’s about making the invisible visible. When people can name what’s really going on inside them, connection becomes safer, clearer, and more possible.

Self-care through meditation

As the days become shorter and colder, many people notice changes in their energy, motivation, mood, or sleep. Sometimes referred to as the “winter blues” or seasonal low mood. These feelings can be a natural response to reduced daylight, stress, busy schedules, or spending more time indoors. During these times, simple self-care practices can help create moments of calm throughout the day.

Meditation is one of many ways to support both the mind and body. It does not require special skills or long silence. Meditation can look like taking a few moments to pause, breathe, and reconnect with the present moment.

You might try:

• Sitting quietly with a cup of tea and focusing on your breathing
• Taking a mindful walk and noticing the sounds around you
• Listening to calming music or a guided meditation
• Spending moments outdoors in fresh air and sunlight

Simple breathing exercises can help signal safety and calm the nervous system. One simple exercise is ‘box breathing’:

• Breathe in slowly for four counts
• Hold for four counts
• Breathe out slowly for four counts
• Hold for four counts
• Repeat a few times at your own pace

The goal is not to empty the mind or stop thoughts. Meditation is about being present, noticing your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings without judgement, and gently returning your attention to the present moment. There is no one way to meditate or practice mindfulness. What matters most is finding small practices that feel supportive, calming, and realistic for you.

To find out the latest wellbeing tips or find a free wellbeing activity, please subscribe to our Wellbeing Newsletter. 

You can also find all of our wellbeing tips, practical information sheets and guides to support you and your family’s wellbeing, visit our Resource Hub today.

Sharing our latest wellbeing tips for war widows, defence and veteran families

Meaningful friendships are at the heart of wellbeing, yet building and maintaining them can sometimes be challenging. For war widows, defence and veteran families, the demands of service, frequent moves, and periods of separation can make connection feel especially difficult to sustain.

Taking small, intentional steps toward others, and toward our own emotions, can help us build the kind of relationships that truly support us. Find this month’s wellbeing tips from our latest Wellbeing Newsletter, exploring everyday habits that nurture friendship and using Brené Brown’s Head, Heart, Hands framework to navigate complex emotions like grief.

Building meaningful connections in the veteran family community

Building friendships can feel challenging at any stage of life. Making new friends is not always easy, and for many people it can feel increasingly challenging over time. Routines change, social circles shift, and opportunities to meet others might seem limited. For veteran families, these challenges may be amplified by the demands of service, frequent relocations, and periods of separation, all of which can interrupt friendships and support networks.

Forming meaningful connections takes time and patience. Strong friendships are often grounded in shared values and experiences, and grow through trust, mutual respect, and authenticity. Connection does not need to happen instantly. It can be built gradually through small, consistent moments of care and understanding.

There are many simple, everyday ways to nurture new connections, which include:

• Actively listening to allow others to feel heard and valued.  
• Offering or accepting support to strengthen trust and deepens relationships.  
• Showing gratitude
• Sharing laughter
• Exchanging personal stories to help create warmth and familiarity.
• Finding common ground. Whether it’s a shared interest, experience, or sense of purpose, the brief interaction can turn into a lasting connection.

Within the veteran community, friendship holds particular importance. Veteran families often carry extra responsibility in supporting their loved ones whom serve. Too often, this support happens quietly and in isolation. Veteran families supporting veteran families creates a unique sense of understanding that can’t always be found elsewhere. Shared experiences can ease the feeling of having to explain or justify one’s reality, allowing friendship to form more naturally and authentically.

Exploring emotions with Brene Brown

Experiences such as grief and chronic stress can easily overwhelm the mind and body, particularly within veteran families who may be carrying layers of loss, uncertainty, and responsibility. The Head, Heart, Hands framework aligns with Brené Brown’s research on emotions encouraging us to notice our thoughts (Head), name our emotions (Heart), and choose small acts of care (Hands), to reduce shame, build understanding, and invite courage into our lives. There are many ways that this tool can be used in your life such as prompts for journaling, an artwork or a discussion starter to explore your emotions and the mind-body connection in grief.  

Head: Noticing the story you’re telling yourself

Brené reminds us that humans are “story‑making creatures.” When answers are unclear, for example when grieving, our minds naturally fill the gaps. These stories aren’t failures, they are attempts to cope. Using

Brené’s phrase, “The story I’m telling myself is…”, can help us to gently notice looping thoughts, assumptions, or unanswered ‘why’ questions. Observing our stories without judgement creates space for clarity, compassion, and self‑kindness.

Heart: Naming what you’re feeling

Complex emotions such as grief are rarely just one emotion. For example, grief often includes love, sadness, anger, guilt, relief, and hope. Sometimes separately and sometimes all at once. Brené’s research shows that the more precisely we can name our emotions, the better we can navigate them. Naming feelings doesn’t intensify them. In fact, it helps contain them. When emotions are acknowledged and witnessed, they can soften.

Hands: Small acts of courage and compassion

Brené defines courage simply as showing up, even when the outcome is uncertain. It can be a small, compassionate action such as resting, setting a boundary, lighting a candle, or reaching out for support. Your emotions and experiences deserve patience, respect, and care. You don’t have to carry them perfectly, and you don’t have to carry them alone. Sometimes, the bravest thing we can do is simply allow ourselves to notice, name, and honour what is coming up for us in the moment and not feel we have to react to it.  

To find out the latest wellbeing tips or find a free wellbeing activity, please subscribe to our Wellbeing Newsletter. 

You can also find all of our wellbeing tips, practical information sheets and guides to support you and your family’s wellbeing, visit our Resource Hub today.

Sharing our latest wellbeing tips for war widows, defence and veteran families

Connection can take many forms, and sometimes it begins with shared reflection and conversations for what lies ahead. For war widows, defence and veteran families, the year ahead may hold uncertainty alongside possibility. Taking time to pause, reflect and reconnect can support wellbeing in meaningful ways. Find this months wellbeing tips from our latest Wellbeing Newsletter, reflecting on personal values and goals and to opening courageous conversations within families.

Connecting through aspirations for the year ahead

Vision boards are a creative outlet that can spark creativity and foster meaningful social connection through shared aspirations for the year ahead. Vision boards offer creative flexibility that incorporates the use of imagery, words, and personal symbolism to represent hopes, values, and intentions. With no strict steps to follow, the activity creating a vision board allows you to express yourself in a way that feels authentic. Engaging in this creative process can encourage gentle reflection on what matters most, supporting identity development and self-agency.

Creating a vision board offers a way to make sense of experiences by organising them on paper. Inner thoughts are externalised in this process, and similar overlapping themes can be captured, for example physical health, mental health, nutrition or general wellbeing. Whether done individually or in a group, the process of creating a vision board naturally invites conversation with others and curiosity within ourselves. Sharing images, discussing goals, or talking about why certain themes resonate can create open, genuine dialogue and deepen connections. 

Creating a vision board with others also remind us that aspirations are often easier to pursue with the support of others. They can become starting points for conversation, encouragement, and shared motivation. When people come together to create and reflect, it strengthens a sense of community and collective hope for the year ahead. By engaging in reflective and creative practices together, communities strengthen a sense of belonging and collective hope for the year ahead.

For anyone who would like to explore these ideas further, we are happy to share a vision board template to support your reflections. Please send an email to wellbeing@fov.org.au where you can receive a template that you can work through in your own time.

How to have courageous conversations about aging

Supporting a loved one as they age is a meaningful part of family life. It is important to approach mindfully, meeting your loved one where they are at in their journey. War widows in our community have spent decades caring for others, showing resilience through loss, change, and responsibility. As they grow older, one of the most supportive things families can do is to gently open conversations about ageing needs, concerns, and hopes for the future. Many people share that they worry they are “becoming a burden,” to their families. This is why supporting vulnerable conversations about ageing is so important.

Families can support their loved one through compassionate communication which ensures that their physical, emotional, social, and cultural wellbeing is supported in the ways they need whilst normalising feelings of uncertainty and vulnerability. Brené Brown’s insights in Atlas of the Heart remind us that vulnerability is an act of courage and that emotions are not something to “fix” they are something to observed with empathy and worked through with curiosity, and self-compassion. By starting the conversation over a cup of tea, families can establish and grow a safe and respectful space for conversation and healing.  

Starting the conversation

Families can begin by acknowledging and validating their loved one’s life story (strength, losses, and contributions) so they feel heard and understood. Brene notes that our ability to connect is strengthened when we share meaning, not just logistics, and the most powerful way to share meaning is through story. Remain curious about their experiences asking what they need you to understand and what helps them to feel supported and secure. This includes practical considerations such as living arrangements, independence, health support, social connections, and safety. Invite their reflections, holding space for their grief about what used to be, and allowing time to process where they are at now.  

Families do not need to navigate this alone. Our social work team is here to help. We can support you and your loved one to explore their unique needs and access aged care supports such as My Aged Care services, Department of Veteran Affairs Veteran Home Care programs, and our wellbeing and social connection programs for war widows and families of veterans. These services provide practical assistance and emotional reassurance to empower you and your loved one to navigate the ageing journey in a gentle and considered way.

Subscribe to our Wellbeing Newsletter for monthly updates on all activities available in your area, what’s been happening in our Wellbeing Program and also for more tips like this.